I made my TV debut today and have spent the day enjoying plaudits from friends and family who are all very proud of me for coming across well.
After conducting the interview a few days before I flew into a blind panic as I’m my own worse enemy. On Facebook I wrote:
Been interviewed by the BBC. I suppose it went OK, but I’m never happy with my TV performances. It was all over in about two minutes and really I could have talked for 30 minutes about how Welsh Labour have sold former ILF recipients down the river. I did manage to have a go at Welsh Labour though so I shouldn’t worry too much.
Why didn’t I say this? Why didn’t I say that? I had a sleepless night…
The report was actually well-produced and presented with my name being thrown about as a well-known disability campaigner across Wales. I’m more than happy to accept this mantle and my five-foot Wrexham AFC badge was clearly visible on the wall behind me [Surely this makes me the most exciting talent to be associated with the club in the last couple of seasons?].
So job done, surely?
Yes, but..
I’ve never fully faced and accepted my own disability and it was a struggle to watch myself fighting to put a sentence together while sitting in a powered wheelchair. This is not how it’s supposed to be. I could see that Friedreich’s Ataxia is eating away at me, limiting my abilities and proving a tough opponent. This was difficult viewing for me as although I embrace and celebrate difference in others, I can’t accept my own.
Still, yet again I overcame the odds to put words into the mouths of BBC reporters and presenters while adding to my reputation as an activist who is not afraid to speak out.
In 2017, I will learn to accept Friedreich’s Ataxia is embedded in my body and even though it may have won a few internal battles, it’ll NEVER rob me of my spirit and win the war.
