Below I have utilised Wikipedia to copy the Milk Cup first round, first leg results from the 1983/84 season. I really do not know what the hell I am doing? I have become some sort of geek who is obsessed with football results from the dim and distant past.
There is no doubt that I am doing this to try to keep myself busy and divert my attention away from the deep sadness that I currently feel as I aimlessly search for something to fill the massive void in my life.
I am blessed with many magnificent friends and know that I am loved and appreciated by those that matter to me. So why on Earth am I really so sorry for myself? I can only imagine that it is because of my progressive disability, which appears to be accelerating over the last few months.
I think what I need to do is abort these 1983/84 blogs and return to my creative best. I took great pride from the kind words of those who appreciated my poems and although this time around I will steer clear of Tanka and Haiku, I feel that I need to express myself more deeply than I am doing by listing archaic football results.
It is very easy to jump to the conclusion that what is missing in my life is a relationship. I am not so sure about jumping into anything conventional. I have done this before and found out that it is not what I am looking for. True friendship wins the day for me as this is worth so much more than two minutes of squelching noises.
I feel better already for writing from the heart and ripping off a John Lydon quote at the end of that last paragraph. This gave me far more satisfaction that writing about Aston Villa’s commercial tie-up with Austin Rover. The trouble is that I have spent a small fortune on football programmes and memorabilia from this era to try to plug a gaping hole in my life. Sometimes, I think it is best to just cut your losses, before it is too late. I will sleep on this before making any rash decisions and I would also appreciate the views of my readers.
A sense of balance is what I need, something or someone to divert my attention away from football and the fact that my body is being ravaged by Friedreich’s Ataxia. As well as poetry, my activist work also made me happy as it took me across Britain and allowed me to work with a number of politicians from across the party spectrum. I am hopeful that I will finally get me reassessment sorted in the month of September and I can then begin planning for the future with a greater degree of certainty and stability.
In the meantime, I will finish this blog with the Milk Cup first round, first leg results from August 1983 in case any of you are interested…
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