The following blog is a random collection of thoughts from a sexually frustrated member of the disabled community in 21st Century Britain. 

I have a lot on my mind.  I will soon be starting my reassessment with an independent social worker, am working on an art exhibition related to the #SaveWILG campaign, am trying to work out how you publish a book on Kindle, and I continue to support all of my many friends and comrades within Welsh Labour Grassroots/Momentum and  Disabled People Against Cuts.

I am doing all of this of my own back, because it is the right thing to do. I have a strong set of principles and beliefs that I continue to live by. Without these, I am nothing. I don’t want to become part of the mainstream and hop onto the capitalist wheel that only goes round in ever decreasing circles and sucks the enjoyment out of everything.

I am lucky that I answer to no one. I cherish my independence and believe that I have achieved so much since leaving Inverness in 2009. The only thing that continues to evade me is the search for sexual intimacy and friendship. This is a particularly difficult topic to discuss on this blog as in no way do I want to come across as an inappropriate pervert who is only after one thing. This is not the case at all…

According to John Donne, “no man is an island”. I am enjoying my independence, but this island I find myself stranded on, does get lonely at times. It is important to underline that in no way am I looking for another wife. I have been there and done that. It was a miserable period in my life and I feel that I have achieved so much more when I have been able to focus on myself.

I guess I want my cake and be able to eat it. What is wrong with this? I believe everyone – male or female – has the right to be free and enjoy life for the precious time we have on this earth. Intimacy is surely a human right for all of us, something that is best explained in the following article by Chuka Nwanazia :

Sex care in the Netherlands – helping the disabled find intimacy

The above is an illuminating article that makes me wish I lived in Holland, rather than backward Britain where attitudes towards disability and sexuality remain almost Victorian in nature. It is not as if I haven’t tried, but keep hitting brick walls and outdated attitudes. Maybe the answer is to try to set up a sex care organisation of my own to provide disabled people across Britain with the intimacy they crave.

This is certainly something to think about while trying to get to sleep in my half empty bed…